January 29, 2015

I will leave you now
Leave you here like this
Knowing, even hoping
That you will never forgive me

And so leave me be

Many things I once thought
I couldn’t live without
I have lost

And I will lose all else sooner
Than I would this self of mine
That remains

And so I reject you

You may not stare into my soul
Like that anymore
Have my back and burn holes in it
Holes I can handle

Not the parts of you that fill me so
And make me whole
Nor the soul you freely give
To fill the cracks I have in my own

I refuse you

Before you become
The binding glue to my mosaic
I refuse you

How many things have I lost
That I once thought
I couldn’t live without?

And how much different will it be
If I lose you now
Before you’re part of me?

You will merely become an empty space
In the jar of losses
Inside my heart

featured image credits:

Journal: Oct.26.2020
Made of Sand
Not Dura, but Alaminadura