MASIDO

ONE DAY LATER

October 22, 2012

I spent a great part of Sunday eve and Monday morning telling myself I am probably overreacting. It could just be a sad mood because I am away from pals and people I love hanging out with. Or it could be because I still have some issues I am dealing with- shit! Everyone has issues. Why should mine spell depression?

I concurred when it hit me that I have been having “just depressed moods” for six years.

It also turns out there is a lot of stigma against dysthymia (it’s not contagious assholes!)

Anyway, just to help some of my pals understand- 1) I am not contemplating suicide! I AM NOT SUICIDAL! Used to be- not anymore.

2) Being depressed doesn’t mean that I fake my laughter or pretend to be happy. It doesn’t mean I do not enjoy life. I have many hobbies and activities I totally enjoy and although I lose interest after sometime, I always find something else to keep me going. And yeah I laugh a lot! A LOT! If I don’t laugh I will just die! Literally! 😀
Sure I like being alone when am depressed; it’s something I am used to. I don’t know why. I don’t like talking to people during such times. I don’t like making other people sour.

Anyway, dysthymia is also not like major depression in the sense that, it doesn’t totally paralyze someone’s daily activities. It’s just an ill mood that is somehow always there;ever!  like one  could have a great week, rave over a weekend, and feel real good for a while but somehow, the sad mood is always there…waiting for you  to come back. personally, I have become so used to this I even thought it was either my personality or that I was addicted to depression! Crazy huh?  I know.

Anyway, don’t just believe all the stuff you hear about depressed people. Sure, some are quiet and withdrawn most of the time. Some think about death and suicide constantly. Some like me are extroverts, smiley people who want to laugh their problems away. It works most of the times but the sad mood is always lingering.

It’s the way I am.

still celebrating life

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