There is a reason why
I don’t ask for advice
From older people


And getting lectures
I have no interest in

Ask an adult about abortion
And expect a lecture on safe sex
Or no sex
Or abortion is wrong
Cuz its murder

And why do you want an abortion?

I don’t want one.
It’s just….

Does a friend? They ask
Why didn’t they use protection?
Youth of these days!
You do know you aren’t supposed
To have sex!
Are you pregnant?

No I am not pregnant…

Thank God
But if you are
Don’t kill your baby okay?

I am not planning to kill anything
It’s just…

Or is a man pushing you to have sex?
It is a man right?

No- I don’t even have a boyfriend
What I’m asking is…

You don’t have a boyfriend?
How come
It must be all those books you read
And they way you lock yourself up
All the time
You should get out more you know
How will you ever get married?
If you carry on like this?

I don’t want a husband

Of course you do
They laugh
We said that too
When we were your age
Or did someone break your heart?


Oh! A man did break your heart
Didn’t he
Come one you can tell me
Don’t worry
They are all like that
The whole lot of them
All men are dogs

But there are some good ones
You will get one someday
One who will make a good husband

Autopilot mode:
I guess so, who knows, right?
Okay let me complete the assignment I had

I start to walk away

Okay you do that
they say
But don’t overwork yourself hmmm
And about abortion
It is murder
And don’t have sex before marriage okay?

Autopilot mode:
I smile and nod and walk away
Into my room
To my books
To my half written story

About a girl who suffers
From a botched abortion

What had I gone to ask again?
I forget

Oh! something about how someone
Can die from abortion

How did it end with men being dogs?
And me getting a husband!

I should just get internet bundles
And Google my questions

It’s more fruitful than asking an adult.

Journal: Oct.26.2020
Made of Sand
Not Dura, but Alaminadura

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