March 9, 2015

Much of my teen and early adult life has been characterized by an uncertain and perhaps doomed-to-fail kind of future. My high school teacher had me choose law for my degree choices but I knew I would never go that way. I could never survive an 8-5 kind of career either; I knew this in my fourth year of high school. And with creative writing being the one thing I truly wanted to pursue, my future seemed bleak. It isn’t the best paying of careers; I knew this and I had no illusions. And yet I didn’t want to forever be dependent on my family.

Later on while in campus, I realized I can teach- that I would actually LOVE to teach. There however comes the 8-5 schedule issue and it’s clear that the only teaching I should ever pursue should be a freelance mode based on my own hours and never in a constant way.

Writing for money I also found, with the correct connections, pays pretty well. If you have a constant supply of determination and motivation, at 3000 shillings per day, one could well be on their way to becoming pretty stable financially. Sadly for me, nothing of mine is constant and so I quit on one such deal last year. I feel I will try it again sometime but it is not something I would like to depend on for life. I can’t deal with constant pressure for very long, and writing articles I care little about bores me super fast. So there went my dream of being that paid writer.

Recently however- and it is something I have thought of but never seriously considered- I find crafting as a great potential source of income. I have tried it; it has worked for me and I see plenty other people crafting, making jewelry and carving out a good living from it.

And for the first time in a very long time, I realize that I can just stick the things that I like and get the good life I dream of. I can write, craft and teach and juggle these three according to my creative mood swings. And with certainty, for the first time in a very long time, my future has some hope in it. I need only sharpen these skills I have and all will be well with me.

If I won’t be stuck doing things I care little about, with timelines tailored to my liking, earning a living from something I actually enjoy, then living seems tolerable after all and life can perhaps become enjoyable in whatever little doses that happens.

And I can live with that.



“We live only to discover beauty. All else is a form of waiting”

Khalil Gibran




Journal: Oct.26.2020
Made of Sand
Not Dura, but Alaminadura

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