I lost my filmmaking mojo. 🙁 I still am an avid watcher-especially of Kenyan films- but I have lost the urge to direct a film. It’s a little scary cuz since I begun campus that’s what I’ve been doing- writing and directing- and I absolutely loved it till I made a very crappy film! *hiding my face* It was so crappy I will die if someone showed it someday! 😀
Anyway, I took a break from directing after that and for a while decided that maybe film was not my thing. I hate sucking at anything so I usually brush it off and say it’s not important. 🙂
Only, the silver screen addiction never lets go once it gets a hold of you- and yes, I still think of films in my head more than I care to admit.
Only this time, I’d like to spend my time writing them. And don’t say it’s a comfort zone! I’m not the uber-scriptwriter either but it’s a place I can start. If I can’t make a fab film, I can write a great story- I’d like to bet on that.
And I have recently been meeting film players in the Kenyan industry- which reassures me further that I can trust someone to tell a story I’ve written, without fucking it up. Big reason I directed was that I could have someone interpret/ misinterpret my story ; And I realize now, that I can’t be a control freak of all my stories. At some point, I have to give them away to be interpreted by someone else- it can’t always be me. And that’s a good thing because I have more stories in my head than I have the energy to direct them all.
Who can does, who cannot teaches. With film, there’s always something one can be good at. I learn now that one mojo lost is not the end of my world. It’s just a chance to be something else. #transformyourself