He asked me to trust him

God did

To trust him fully

Without a doubt


To not worry

To not go to my own lengths

To forcefully take

The needs

The universe denies me


To not sell a piece of my  soul

For this body’s survival


He asked me to trust him

To lay the best plans for me


I could not


I could not trust him

At least not fully


Not after he let me starve

Even after praying for manna

That rained a little too late


So  I asked God

How I could trust him

When he had let me down

In the past


But you have turned out well

He said


I conceded

To some extent

But there is suffering

I still do not understand


Everything happens for a reason

He says


I strongly disagree


What is the reason behind


And junkies

And children abused

Suicidals that never recovered?

What is the reason behind a pain

That does not go away



It did not end

Happily ever after

For those he did not show

Greener paths

For those he pushed too far

Who took the jump

When the edge

Was the only way out?


I cannot trust you

At least not fully

I told him

Though I understand

Some of my suffering

You have let others down

Let them suffer

Then ended them

Into nothingness

And all for what?


How do you know that?

He asked


Because I see

I said

I am not blind

To the reality, that is life

I see

And you know only what you see

He softly said

His words echoing still

In the silence that ensues


Made of Sand
Not Dura, but Alaminadura

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