December 3, 2012

If I should die let me die
When my hearts stops beating
And the fire in my soul
Goes out
Let me die

If the afterlife
Is as I am told
Heaven or hell
It don’t matter
I want none of the above

They say we’re on earth
To merely pass through
That we have another place
To go to

The people we meet
Family, lovers, friends
One way or the other
We will leave them behind

And though we always hope
That we will meet again
That is as much as we can do-

That there are options
I am told
Heaven is all goodness
Milk, honey, and  righteousness
Hell is all fire
Pain, tears and endless torture

If I should get to heaven
Or the other way round
Like Lazarus and the rich man
Am I to sit
In the land of all goodness
And watch my loved ones tortured
And contentedly
Do nothing about it?

Shall I just forget them?
Shall a wand be waved at me
To erase all my memories
To make me laugh and sing
In the land of honey and milk
When I do not see
My loved ones

Is a mother to rejoice
In heaven
If she cannot find her child

Do we forget our friends
And family
When we cross over?

What is heaven
If my loved ones are not there?

Even God knew
I needed them
In this life

If I shan’t have them
In the next
Then let me die

For I have no desire
To have all the beauty
And goodness
And have only strangers
Who  know nothing
About me
To share it with

I do not wish
To live in that land
And smile at these religious people
Who judge and kill
In their Lord’s name

To watch even my enemies suffer
Endure torture
For all eternity
For wronging me
In this  short lifetime

Just as I have little
Desire for vengeance
I have even less desire
For forever
Without my loved ones

So, if I should die
Then let me die

Journal: Oct.26.2020
Made of Sand
Not Dura, but Alaminadura

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