MASIDO

The Switch

October 25, 2012

Depression is kinda funny sometimes
It gives me a kind of courage
A kind of boldness
To do whatever I want
Whenever I want

To feel whatever I want

It makes thoughts  like
“What will people think?”
Look as stupid as they are

The switch

Of all things life threw my way
Hot coals I had to walk upon
Things I had no choice over
I now learn one thing

I hold the switch of my feelings

Caring –on
And not caring-off

When am with you
I switch it off
I could walk out
In the dead of night
When you start to suffocate me

I could go sleep
Beside the road
Where homeless people sleep
And not feel depraved
Feel nothing

I realize now
I do not care
For lot of things

A lot!

I don’t care
That you don’t  want me here
I don’t care
That you are angry
At me or whoever pissed you

I don’t care
That I did not clean the dishes
I know I should have

I don’t care about anything
Other than my peace of mind

So try talking
All you can
Try shouting the house down

If I shan’t have the energy
To walk out
I shall sit and switch off

Watch your mouth move
Look at the clock ticking and wonder
When will this be over?
So that I can get back
To my novel
To that story I am writing
Or that painting I had begun
I will sit there- like a good child
And watch you speak
Cuz honestly
I don’t care what you’re saying

Used to- eons ago
But now
I don’t anymore

It’s like role play
You’re sadist
I am masochist

You prick
To see me bleed
But I don’t
Am dead cold

You can make me bleed anymore
I bled dry
There’s nothing more

So I shall come
And be with you
And look at you talk
Rave and rant
All you want
For I have perfected the art
Of the switch

Prick all you want
Poke wherever you can
I’ll be mum

Jab at me with a knife
Stab and rip me apart
If you must

You can do plenty
But you can’t kill
What’s already dead

Can you?

Made of Sand
Not Dura, but Alaminadura
Patterns

    Leave a Reply

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.