For as long as I can recall, I have always wished for my own place. I don’t care if it’s a shack or a small room- I just want my space! Then I asked myself a few days ago, do I want this simply because I hate depending on people or because I actually really need it. Cuz truth be told, I am a restless soul. I am never one to take root in any one place. Staying too long gets to me.
And maybe because I want this one thing so bad, the universe has refused to hand it to me like my birthright! It has instead chosen to give me glimpses of how awesome it is to have my own place. Then after sometime, that place is taken away and I have to move.
I hate moving!
I told myself that a few days ago and it sounded wrong. Truth be told, what i actually hate is staying. I don’t like sticking around some place for long. The road calls to me and whenever I can, I always answer!
So why really do I want a place to stay? Why fight so badly for those things the universe puts out of my reach? Cuz fight or not, I aint getting my own house- at least not now!
And what’s to do in between? Sit and sulk and drain my energy and joy?
Nope. This year it’s different. I chose to make the best of each situation. If I think I hate moving because of all the things I have to carry, I will lessen my load. Give away my clothes, sell most of my shoes, publish all the works that sit in envelops and papers. And if I shan’t publish them, I shall burn them. And I shall not keep all the books I have to myself. I will use them and finish with them and exchange or give them away.(I will keep Paulo Coelho’s though 🙂 )
I no longer have the energy to carry the things I don’t really need. And so even though the universe still gives me bits of what I really want, I shall savor each bit and dance in my space and do all things I plan to do regardless.
Home is where the heart is. Wherever I may go or move to or stay, home is where the heart is.